Hello again!
Looks like I can use SMTP, but only if I provide my main username/password, %u and %p give this error. SMTP Error in /usr/home/deb1260/domains/remmelt.com/public_html/roundcubemail/program/steps/mail/sendmail.inc (183): SMTP error: Failed to send data
I'll describe my situation: I have a hosting account with a regular commercial provider (antagonist.nl). The provider enabled php's safe mode on its servers. My main login name there is deb12xx. This user has an emailaddress (the main or mother email) that I redirected to my regular address: remmelt@remmelt.com. The deb12xx name is what I use when I ftp into my account. This user, when logged in to rcmail set to smtp with %u and %p as user/pass can send email. The account comes with a couple of free pop boxes (not aliases), all of which can log in to rcmail using the entire email address as username. These users however can not send email through smtp, probably because they're not os-level users as well, just email accounts inside my virtual host. The mail() function works, but because of safemode restrictions only without the 5th parameter, so the return-path is not set correctly: it's always deb12xx@remmelt.com.
The only resolution is to hardcode deb12xx with my main password in the main.inc.php, something I'd rather not do. I have checked, it works, but I wouldn't call it safe.
When I log in with the remmelt@remmelt.com address as username (ie one of the free pop boxes) into squirrelmail, all is fine. I can send mail (obviously) and the return-path is set correctly, so I'm using that to send to the list. It might be that squirrelmail is using sendmail to send, but I can't check that at the moment.
A workaround for this problem is to set the free pop box password(s) to the same as the deb12xx pw, so I could hardcode the username in main.inc.php and use %p as password. This works, but it's hardly feasible because now I have to give my main password out to anyone who uses the system. So far that's only me, but still.
Thanks again,
Remmelt